Why your teenage daughter shouldn't ditch sport

The stakes are higher than you think Your daughter has just announced she wants to quit school tennis. Or soccer. Or athletics. Before turning into Tiger Mom (or Dad) and forcing your daughter to stick with the programme – or caving in immediately and allowing her to bail – it's worth understanding why sport and exercise is so valuable.Lessons from the field, court, water, pitch, sidelines

Staying active during teenage years is also essential for weight management, cardiovascular fitness and heart health, say researchers at the University of Rochester Medical Centre in New York.

This all contributes to creating healthy habits that often last a lifetime!

These lessons will prove invaluable when she leaves school and starts navigating the challenges of studying, working, maintaining friendships and negotiating romantic relationships.

Your first instinct might be to list all the reasons why giving up is a bad idea, especially if you’re a parent with a secret desire to see her on an Olympic podium one day. Resist the urge to lecture. It will only fall on deaf ears because teens are hard-wired to challenge the status quo. Instead, create a safe space for honest conversation.

Ask open-ended questions like:

Listen without judgement. “Sometimes, simply feeling heard can help your teen work through their feelings,” says Dr Ken Ginsburg, Professor of Paediatrics at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Through open and constructive dialogue, you can play a pivotal role in nurturing communication and effective problem-solving with your child. You might discover that the issue isn't the sport itself but something specific, such a misunderstanding with a coach or teammate, that can be addressed.

Once you understand the root cause, make time to brainstorm solutions together.

If team dynamics are the problem, encouraging your child to discuss their issues with the coach can lead to an eye-opening solution. Plus, these interactions become teaching moments, helping you equip your child with valuable life skills and the ability to navigate future challenges with confidence. If you suspect your child’s self-consciousness about their skill level is a factor, continuing with the sport can offer them the opportunity to grow. Improving over time is part of the process and once they see results it may boost their confidence and potentially alter their perspective.

Exploring non-traditional activities like rock climbing, martial arts, or dance in some cases, advising your child to discuss their issues with a team member with their coach can be an eye-opening solution. “These interactions become teaching moments, equipping children with valuable life skills and the ability to navigate future challenges with confidence,” says Dr Ginsburg.

Shift the conversation from winning and achievement to health and enjoyment. Help your daughter understand that staying active isn't about being the best player on the team – it's about taking care of her body and mind. Emphasise the stress-relief benefits, the joy of movement, and the social connections that come with team activities.

If your daughter's desire to quit stems from deeper issues like anxiety, depression, or social problems, don't ignore these red flags. Sometimes quitting sports is a symptom of larger mental health concerns that need professional attention. Consider involving a counsellor or sports psychologist who can help both of you navigate these challenges.

While it's important to be understanding, you're still the parent. It's reasonable to establish that physical activity in some form is non-negotiable for health reasons. You might say, "We can discuss changing sports, but staying active is important for our family and for your health." This approach gives her some control while maintaining your parental authority. For instance, advising your child to discuss an issue with a team member with their coach can be an eye-opening solution. These interactions become teaching moments, equipping your youngster with valuable life skills and the ability to navigate future challenges with confidence.

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, your daughter may genuinely need to step away from organised sports. If she's dealing with serious mental health issues, has suffered an injury, or is facing overwhelming academic pressure, forcing her to continue could do more harm than good. The goal is lifelong wellness, not short-term athletic achievement.

The long game matters most Remember that your teenager's relationship with physical activity is a marathon, not a sprint. Sometimes stepping back from competitive sports can reignite her love for physical activity in the long run. Focus on helping her develop a positive relationship with her body and physical activity that will serve her well into adulthood.

“By approaching this situation with empathy, creativity, and patience, you can help your daughter tackle this challenging period while keeping the door open for a lifetime of healthy, active living,” says Dr Ginsburg. “The key is showing her that you value her happiness and wellbeing above all.”