You don't have to fit in, but you can belong – Ros Howell

Ros Howell has spent a lifetime in classrooms and on sports fields, playing an integral role in the lives of thousands of young people. As a teacher, coach, and mentor, she has watched generations of girls grow – not just in their skills, but in their sense of self. Her story is less about titles or accolades, and more about the quiet, lasting impact of someone who has committed her life to helping young women thrive.

It’s a phrase that came up in conversation and felt immediately powerful. For Ros, belonging doesn’t mean sameness. It doesn’t mean blending in or erasing difference. Belonging is about contribution – showing up, playing your part, and knowing that you matter to the team, the classroom, or the community around you.

Ros’s first encounters with sport were formative. Sport wasn’t just about competition; it was about courage. “Sport was where I learnt to push past fear,” she reflects. “Resilience wasn’t something you were given – you built it by staying the course.” That idea of perseverance became central to her life’s work. As a young teacher, Ros saw how sport could shape character. It wasn’t always the star players who stood out to her, but those who learnt to keep showing up and to push through the moments of doubt.

When Ros moved into teaching and coaching, she carried those early lessons forward. Her philosophy was never just about tactics or results.

She believes encouragement must be balanced with honesty. “Extreme kindness can be as damaging as extreme harshness. Balanced feedback is essential for growth.” That balance often meant navigating the space between parental expectations and the needs of a child, and Ros never shied away from difficult conversations.

For her, growth comes when young people are nudged beyond their comfort zones: “Kids need someone to push them into spaces they’re afraid of – in a way that encourages, not humiliates.”

Some of Ros’s strongest convictions are about commitment. For her, being part of a team is about more than talent or natural ability. At the height of her career in hockey, Ros played for the South African national squad but missed out on the Olympics twice due to sanctions on the country. She recalls that not a single woman on her team let that disappointment stop them from playing for each other and for the love of the game. That experience reinforced the importance of accountability and shared purpose – values she carried into her coaching.

“Every person on the team has a role to play, and being committed to your team is a really big part of it.” She insists this lesson should be taught early.

Children need to know their choices matter, that actions have consequences. If you miss practice, it doesn’t just affect you – it affects the friend who steps in, the coach who has to reshuffle, the teammates who are counting on you.

Ros’s philosophy doesn’t exist in isolation. Research shows that sport provides exactly the kind of environment she describes. Girls who play sport are 2.5 times less likely to suffer from mental health disorders than those who don’t. The Women’s Sports Foundation’s Thriving Through Sport report found that girls in supportive sport settings – where effort, teamwork, and growth matter more than winning – have significantly lower rates of anxiety and depression. Ros puts it more simply:

What she saw in schools and on fields wasn’t just about sport. It was about community, responsibility, and the habits that carry into adulthood.

Ros’s words are a reminder that success isn’t defined only by medals or trophies. It’s in the lessons young people take with them long after they leave the field: resilience, accountability, and the courage to show up even when it’s hard. Her belief that “you don’t have to fit in, but you can belong” is as relevant for workplaces, families, and communities as it is for sport. In a world that often pressures young people to conform, Ros’s voice is a call to create spaces where individuality is welcomed, but shared responsibility binds us together. Belonging, for her, is not about sameness. It’s about being seen, being valued, and being part of something bigger than yourself. That is the gift Ros Howell has given to every girl who has crossed her path.